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Love and PainThe love of one person,
plus the love of another can be so strong.
That's what I wonder though;
does he really love me?
Does he really care?
I know we are friends,
but does he truly see me there?
The life I live,
is nothing but a lie.
I just look at myself in the mirror...
..and just ask, "Why?"
The hurt on my face..
..the pain in my heart..
It hurts, but I will survive.
All the stars in the sky..
..all the tears burning my eyes..
I can't go on without struggling.
The room's spinning.
My vision's becoming blurred..
DrowningI'm drowning in my own tears.
I try to stay above the waves,
but fail miserably.
This was brought on because of you.
All the yelling,
all the hatred,
all the lies..
..all built up inside of me.
All struggling to get out.
When they finally do,
there's going to be hell to pay.
You are not my role model anymore.
You aren't even a part of my life.
With all of this,
this anger just twisting my heart.
It doesn't make sense..
..all this crap.
I just want to go away.
Go away, and never return.
How's It Going to Be?Battles won;
All the anger & truancies beneath the surface;
they must come out.
When will you tell me how it's going to be?
When you do tell me,
please have the courtesy to say it to my face,
and not over the phone.
I see how easy it is for you to drop me..
..drop me like a lead weight.
It's probably best, though..
..because we'll be on two different continents.
Was I devastated from your call..
..on that stormy summer night?
No; I was more hurt than anything.
It didn't surprise me so much, though.
I knew it was coming, but why now?
I leave for my trip in three weeks for Norway.
StruggleStaring out the window;
trying to find a soul.
Trying to find a happy place,
trying to see myself on the clouds above,
I turn to my mirror and look myself over,
trying to figure out what's missing.
My heart aches.
I try to speak, and yet,
no one hears me.
No one hears my song of sorrow.
Even though my voice,
my cries are unheard..
..I know that I am seen.
Will I be turned away?
..or will I be left standing?
I am alone and broken.
I might not be strong enough to win..
..to win this battle.
ScaredLiving under constant pressure,
never able to be my own person.
Sometimes living under regret.
The threat of constant betrayal always around.
Nothing seems open and free.
Everything is secret and sacred.
I don't want to leave.
I must not leave this place.
I have friends who care about me,
I go to an awesome school,
and people seem to accept me.
Right now though,
All I need is the support of my friends.
I'm so happy to have friends like them.
Sick (A Rant)I'm sick of lies and carelessness, of apologies with no meaning.
I'm sick of writing things for school, about things I don't know about. What does equality mean anymore? What is populism?
What is "the moral equivalent of war," according to philosopher William James? What does it have to do with anything? Yes it's history, and it hurts my brain. What kind of screwball teacher,
with salt-n-pepper hair and beard the likes of Santa, does this to his students? A hair-brained essay 1,000 pages long, due on things we barely know. I'm sick of all of his games. I'm sick of this class, and my teacher. I should've gotten out when I had the chance.
Now I'm drowning in a sea of pointless work. Anyone out there who can help me? ...didn't think so.
when you find yourself
in a crowd of familiar faces,
the struggle for breath
You Will PayI can taste the fear upon you:
The cold sweat in your palms,
The eyes that dart at shadows,
And the lips that are forced into a tightened smile.
You wait beneath the blankets,
Shivering each night as the anxiety rises.
You gasp at the slightest sounds and quiver...
For you are afraid of the curse that comes.
In your mind you see what you have done to me.
You watched as you ripped my tongue
And stole the very voice from my soul!
But even if I am without a body,
Even if I can no longer hold a knife to your throat.
Fear alone is enough for me to silence you,
And I will NEVER allow you to be heard!
Inner DemonI harbour a monster,
It lingers deep within.
It wants to escape me,
To tear free from my skin.
It gnaws at my insides,
And hopes that I'll give in.
It works hard to tempt me,
To lead me into sin.
It wants me to suffer
To feel its wretched sting.
But I stand true and strong,
I will not let it win.
The nights are the hardest,
In bed I pray and sing
To the Lord God above
To rid me of this thing.
But instead it remains,
My monster still within.
MazeLost within myself
Looking for a way out
This cannot end like this
Trapped in my own mind
A maze with no exit
I keep running and running
But I always end up
In the same place where I began
RustThe dwelling rust
swells this hollow garden
and somewhere in the yard
a tire swing goes flat
against the skyline.
It chokes the autumn light
in the silo,
the crush of
mums and ragged berries
It bubbles in the percolator
steeping still life
in the caul
of early morning -
the red-brown crumbs
of breakfast toast and jam
growing ghosts upon
And deep inside
I still hear you waking up
the soft salute
of morning voices
stirring the wind
outside my window.
Slaves of the deadSlaves of the dead
to find another land,
but they couldn't stand the desert and the frost.
Some died, some returned.
For those who returned
the masters had prepared a special punishment.
Their memory was wiped off.
They became thieves,
without ever understanding why.
They just felt it was the right thing to do.
Red Light ReduxHaving a truck
Paint me red
Is the strangest feeling
I’ve ever felt.
I’ve seen myself melt away
Like a mid-summer’s ice cream
While my personality screams
To be noticed. Every wall that once
Stood between me and reality
I am finally free.
Until they strapped me down
And sewed back my hands to my head.
My heart to my mouth.
My legs to the earth.
The taste of freedom
Rests gently on my tongue,
And I’ve been trying
To no avail.
Welcome, December, and to the freezing temperatures you leave in your wake.
Welcome to Jack Frost, forever nipping at my nose.
Welcome, Old Man Winter, who causes the snow to fall, and winds to whistle about me as it forces the snow to slice into the flesh on my face.
Welcome, early sunsets; the night comes too quickly.
Welcome, harvest moons, and your beautiful gold shimmer.
Welcome, old sweaters, large and comfy.
Welcome to large cups of cocoa, coffee, hot cider, or tea;
Whichever warms your soul from the inside, out.
Welcome to night shirts and pants, and oversized, fluffy comforters.
Welcome to late game nights or movie nights with your loved ones.
Welcome to your favorite fuzzy slippers.
Welcome, December … welcome.
(Though, I wish you'd leave soon…)
Keep in Touch!
A two-time Community Volunteer for the deviantART Related category, Anne is well-known as a positive, helpful force. She is the community's resident expert when it comes to CSS (Cascading Style Sheets), and her personal gallery offers a wide variety of tutorials for new and experienced coders alike. In addition, each winter she hosts a calendar project encouraging members to create Journal designs for all to use, bringing more creativity to the community.
It is with immense gratitude that we acknowledge Anne as the recipient of the Deviousness Award for October 2014. Read More